Why is love so complicated?


Love is a headache and a heart breaking adventure. Most of the people involved will come from it with deep scars that they can never completely make disappear. And yet, we are always eager to go back and try times and times again.

Why is that? Simply because, no matter how hurtful love can be it is still the most fulfilling emotion known to human life. A life without love is a life not fully lived, a complete waste. Then, you would ask what makes such a beautiful thing so complicated?

Well, I would tell you that it is because it asks more from us than anything else. Love can never get satisfied with a partial commitment. Love demands your full attention and all your energy to produce fruits at the end of the day. It is not therefore love that is so complicated but mainly us that cannot live up to its expectations. We tend to believe that words will make up for our lack of devotions, and sex will solve all our shortcomings in a relation. Unfortunately, love is much more than physical satisfaction and beautiful words.

As an example, marriages often suffer from open truth. Most men and women would tell you how hurtful their partner is. This always occurs after two people know too much of each other. It is the time when the nice words and the sex cannot make up for all our flaws. It is the time when partners do not try to hide their personal disappointments as they do not receive what they bargained for. It is the time when truth is said to hurt because we are feeling cheated by love. In reality, love never fails us. We fail love.

We jump into relationships without being sure of how strongly we love the person, and if we are ready to commit. And when we fail, we just jump to a new one without resolving the issues that made us fail the first one. So, is love complicated? Not really. But we, humans, are. We have so many issues, work related, family related, our differences, our religions, our beliefs, our fears, and all our expectations. By the time we enroll ourselves into a relationship, our mind is already so full that we do not take time to think and realise what we are signing for. We push ourselves forward in the heat of the moment.

Most relations start when one person feels lonely and needs company, or one person is pressured by his peers to find someone because of his age, social position, family tradition, or simply because he is bored! How then do you expect to live up to something as demanding as love if you commit to it for dubious reasons? Love can only be effective and lasting if it is inspired from love.

It might sound like a monumental task, but yet it is possible. All you need is the right mindset and take responsibility in your relationships. For love to work and produce its wonderful miracles you must give yourself completely into it and only with people you really love in your heart.